59 Comments

1. Deirdre January 30, 2006 at 9:07 pm

   or a teacher just startin to roll is the lyrics
2. Ken January 30, 2006 at 9:35 pm

   thanks for that deirdre 🙂
3. Stephen January 31, 2006 at 7:47 pm

   Well done for getting as much as you got.Its a hard song to get the words of.
4. ray January 31, 2006 at 8:17 pm

   just to sit outside any maxol, emo, statoil, shell forecourt
5. Ken January 31, 2006 at 9:17 pm

   stephen – cheers, thanks very much!

   ray – thanks for pointing that out, updated 🙂
6. diana January 31, 2006 at 10:10 pm

   Pigs bladder – can’t get the rest of it
7. diana January 31, 2006 at 10:11 pm

   but in the morning I’d sell my soul
8. diana January 31, 2006 at 10:12 pm

   two eggs
9. diana January 31, 2006 at 10:13 pm

   to me it sounds like team and not teacher…
10. Ken January 31, 2006 at 10:15 pm

    There’s a bit of a debate about it alright, the teacher/team line. Anyone else have any thoughts on it?

    Thanks for the input Diane, appreciate it 😀
11. Will O' Brien February 2, 2006 at 8:55 pm

    When I wake up in the mornin’
    And jump straight out of bed,
    I grab a hould of me ‘luminous jacket and shake off my ould porter head
    I haven’t time for the fancy breakfast
    Or put muesli in the bowl
    I just head to the statoil garage
    For the jumbo breakfast roll.
    Two eggs,
    Two sausage,
    Two rashers,
    Two bacon,
    Two puddin’ – one black, one white.
    All stacked like a tower on top of each other
    And rowlled up good and tight.
    If you’re havin some tae the milk’s over there
    You’ll find sugar in the ould bowl
    Says she “do you want some sauce on that”, says I “I do in my…. roll”
    Now whether you’re a chippy or a plumber or a brickie
    Or a team just tarin the road
    Or a shower of lads coming back from the razz
    In the crowd or on you’re own
    If you’re workin’ up a ladder or peelin a pigs bladder
    Or find yourself diggin’ in a hole
    There’s no sight better than meltin’ butter
    On the jumbo breakfast roll.
    Repeat chorus .
    Now the just the other day
    After me roll and me tae
    In me gut I got an awful ache
    Well I went to me doctor, says he “thats an artery blocker”
    You’re havin every morning for break…
    So to change me lifestyle
    He had me walkin’ five mile
    And seein’ a dietician called Noel
    But hangin’ from me head the sight of two runny eggs and
    A jumbo breakfast roll!
    Repeat chorus.
    Now the years have moved on
    And my life has changed
    And now I’m a different man
    I’m after losing three stone
    Doin’ a line with a girl called joan
    And we’re both vegitari-ian
    Now my bloodsugar levels are good to go
    And my cholesteral is low
    But in the mornin’ I’d sell my soul
    Just to sit outside any maxol, emo, statoil, shell forecourt….
    And eat a jumbo breakfast roll!
    Chorus
    Finish!
12. Ken February 2, 2006 at 9:08 pm

    that’ll do the job will, good man yerself!
13. Will O' Brien February 2, 2006 at 9:28 pm

    Not a bother Ken!!
14. b February 8, 2006 at 12:38 pm

    WHY DOES HE SAY TWO RASHER AND TWO BACON??? ITS THE SAME? MAYBE HE SAYS TWO HASHERS AS IN HASH BROWN???
15. Ken February 8, 2006 at 12:41 pm

    no, its rashers and bacon alright. he’s been interviewed about it a few times now at this stage and his reply has been

    “lads, its only a song…”

    poetic license 😉
16. b February 8, 2006 at 1:35 pm

    Maybe he could change the lyrics and give me a few quid…..
17. Ken February 8, 2006 at 1:44 pm

    all you can you is ask! 😉
18. Gav February 9, 2006 at 10:51 am

    Anyone know the guitar chords?
19. Do February 9, 2006 at 10:54 am

    Any have a stab at teh guitar chords yet?..shouldn’t be too difficult…
20. Do February 9, 2006 at 10:55 am

    snap Gav!
21. Ken February 9, 2006 at 10:59 am

    Weird! Snap indeed!

    You try pulling the guitar chords by watching the video from the link above?
22. Gav February 9, 2006 at 10:59 am

    that’s mad. i think we both probably googled for “jumbo breakfast roll” chords and found ourselves here.

    I *think* it’s something like G C D G, but i can’t really hear it properly.
23. Ken February 9, 2006 at 11:10 am

    It should be… I was thinking C, F, G by the sound of it, its based around a 3 chord trick anyway, whatever key you decide to play it in…!
24. Do February 9, 2006 at 11:30 am

    yea – just watched it there – looks like he’s doing the c,f & g….but like you said – play in whatever key suits you…..it will be a nice party piece after the pub!!
25. Gav February 9, 2006 at 11:48 am

    the video won’t work for me here for some reason (i’m on a mac and the video is trying to open in adobe go live, and i can’t open it directly in real player), but anyway, C F G C do seem like the right chords. nice work lads. Cheers
26. kaka February 9, 2006 at 4:10 pm

    does anyone know where you can get jon/john kenny’s version of stan??? legandary bt cant find it anywhere
27. Michael O'Connor Clarke February 11, 2006 at 4:32 am

    Pat now has the complete “official” lyrics up on his own site. And it’s coming out as a single!

    http://www.patshortt.com/JumboBreakfastRoll.htm

    Coupla months earlier, and he’d have had a guaranteed Christmas Number 1 🙂

    /m
28. Kilkenny grl February 12, 2006 at 2:06 pm

    is der any one der
29. Ken February 12, 2006 at 5:12 pm

    Michael – True point, could well have been a Christmas number one, worth the wait given the success of Killinascully for the festive period.

    Kilkenny Grl…. is anyone where?
30. Kilkenny grl February 12, 2006 at 8:42 pm

    i was askin was any1 in de chat room or whatever you would call this thing but no one answered then so now im back and is any1 here now
31. Ken February 13, 2006 at 9:03 am

    Ah right… its not a chat room though… Its a blog, I post an article and people can comment on it any time they like…
32. Michael February 21, 2006 at 9:48 am

    Hi All,
    I have changed the words to Jumbo Breakfast Roll for a Celtic party.
    Enjoy!

    JUMBO PAIN IN ME HOLE!

    When I wake up in the mornin’
    and again I’ve pished the bed,
    I grab a hould of me ‘luminous jacket and shake off my ould porter head
    I cant afford toothpaste cos ive been ten years on the dole
    And I work as a steward at Ibrox and Ive got a jumbo pain in my hole.
    CHORUS
    Cos we’ve got,
    No Strikers,
    No Goalie,
    No Midfield,
    We look stupid in blue and white,
    And no matter who we play or if the referees a hun we still end up playin shite,
    When we play in Europe were always getting humped from Spain to the North Pole,
    That is why Im now supporting Hearts, Ive got a jumbo pain in me hole.

    Now ive got friends that are are chippies and welders and one who guards a building site,
    But they all got those jobs by rolling up there trouser leg every Wednesday night
    We always meet in the Orange Hall to watch the Rangers game unfold,
    But lately Ive been going home with a jumbo pain in me hole!

    Repeat chorus

    Now the just the other day I was passing a car when I saw a scarfe inside,
    It had Rangers colours on the front and Hearts on the other side,
    So when noone was looking I took a swing and smashed the window with a pole,
    Then I realised that it was my own car now Ive a jumbo pain in me hole!

    Repeat chorus.

    Now the years have moved on
    And my life has changed and now Im a different man,
    I spent the last two years doin time and Im no longer a Rangers fan,
    I realised when I was inside that most Rangers fans have no soul,
    So ive got a job at Parkhead, support the bhoys and lost that jumbo pain in my hole!

    CHORUS 2
    Cos weve got the best strikers and goalie a brilliant midfield, we look amazing in green and white,
    And Rangers couldnt beat us even if we played them all night,
    And when we play away in Europe everybody hates to see us go,
    And it makes me laugh to see a Rangers fan with a jumbo pain in his hole!

    Repeat Chorus 2

    Neil O’Martin February 2006
33. Ken February 21, 2006 at 2:16 pm

    Fair play to you, a winner for any celtic fan!
34. tom February 24, 2006 at 8:49 pm

    did you hear the pat shortt eminem song, it is the funniest song ever, if anyone can get the lyrics to it it would be great
35. Brian February 26, 2006 at 7:11 am

    Good man for having the song on ur site.live in sydney would not have got to hear it loved it thanks
36. Ken February 26, 2006 at 9:39 am

    No problem at all my man you’re more than welcome 🙂
37. Laura Murphy February 28, 2006 at 5:13 pm

    ‘If your working up a ladder or peeling a pig’s bladder or find yourself digging in a hole.
38. David Kavanagh March 4, 2006 at 9:27 pm

    i think that it goes like this.

    When I wake up in the mornin’
    And jump straight out of bed,
    I grab a hould of me ‘luminous jacket and shake off my ould porter head
    I haven’t time for the fancy breakfast
    Or put muesli in the bowl
    I just head to the statoil garage
    For the jumbo breakfast roll.

    Two egg,
    Two sausage,
    Two rashers,
    Two bacon,
    Two puddin’ – one black, one white.
    All stacked like a tower on top of each other
    And rolled up good and tight.
    If you’re havin some tea the milk’s over there
    You’ll find sugar in the bowl
    Says she “do you want some sauce on that”, says I “I do in my…. roll”

    Now whether you’re a chippy or a plumber or a brickie
    Or a team just startin to roll
    Or a shower of lads coming back from the race
    In the crowd or on you’re own
    If you’re workin’ up a ladder or
    apeelin’ pigs blader
    Or find yourself diggin’ in a hole
    There’s no sight better than meltin’ butter
    On the jumbo breakfast roll.

    Two egg,
    Two sausage,
    Two rashers,
    Two bacon,
    Two puddin’ – one black, one white.
    All stacked like a tower on top of each other
    And rolled up good and tight.
    If you’re havin some tea the milk’s over there
    You’ll find sugar in the bowl
    Says she “do you want some sauce on that”, says I “I do in my…. roll”

    Now the just the other day
    After me roll and me tae
    In me gut I got an awful ache
    Well I went to me doctor, says he “thats an artery blocker”
    You’re havin every morning for break…well i know theres too many words in that verse lads, wasn’t that fecking Bob Dillon in the name o’ god!
    So to change me lifestyle
    He had me walkin’ five mile
    And seein’ a dietician called Noel
    But hangin’ from me head theres only two runny eggs
    A jumbo breakfast roll!

    Two egg,
    Two sausage,
    Two rashers,
    Two bacon,
    Two puddin’ – one black, one white.
    All stacked like a tower on top of each other
    And rolled up good and tight.
    If you’re havin some tea the milk’s over there
    You’ll find sugar in the bowl
    Says she “do you want some sauce on that”, says I “I do in my…. roll”

    Now the years have moved on
    And my life has changed
    And now I’m a different man
    I’m after losing three stone
    Doin’ a line with a girl called joan
    And we’re both vegitari-ian
    Now my bloodsugar levels are good to go
    And my cholesteral is low
    Though in the mornin’ I’d sell my soul
    Just to sit outside any maxol, emo, statoil, shell or more….
    And eat a jumbo breakfast roll!

    Two egg,
    Two sausage,
    Two rashers,
    Two bacon,
    Two puddin’ – one black, one white.
    All stacked like a tower on top of each other
    And rolled up good and tight.
    If you’re havin some tea the milk’s over there
    You’ll find sugar in the bowl
    Says she “do you want some sauce on that”, says I “I do in my…. roll”

    oh and, it is statoil, shell or more
39. Connolly March 12, 2006 at 7:55 pm

    well done on getting all the lyrics down but i have searched the net for guitar chords and i cant get them. could anyone help me out. iwanted to sing it in venice with my art college friends and we are goin in 2 weeks so if anyone could help it would be great!
40. Ken March 12, 2006 at 8:45 pm

    check back up through those comments… there’s a post or two made about the guitar chords…
41. Connolly March 19, 2006 at 11:20 pm

    thanks ken….. we had a great paddys day because we learned it to a T… thanks again
42. Ken March 19, 2006 at 11:52 pm

    he he he… no worries 🙂
43. Donal March 22, 2006 at 7:50 pm

    Ken

    Myself and my 10 year old son did our first performance of JBR last weekend to all his aunts and uncles. The 3 chords I used were C, F and G and it sounded fine. A great laugh was had by all!

    Thanks for posting up the words.
44. Ken March 22, 2006 at 8:13 pm

    No problem Donal, you’re most welcome!
45. conor March 25, 2006 at 9:42 pm

    ha ha ha LEGEND i love this song thanks lads an ladies
46. Karen April 29, 2006 at 9:39 pm

    If your working up a ladder or peeling pigs bladder
47. Tom Murphy May 1, 2006 at 5:31 pm

    Here’s a good idea……why not look at his website for the lyrics…..duh!!
48. Natasha Webster May 4, 2006 at 1:40 pm

    I am 100% sure these are the perfect lyrics:

    Well I wake up in the morning and I jump straight out of bed
    Grab a hold of me luminous jacket and shake off me owl porter head
    I havnt time for a fancy breakfast or put muesli in dowl bowl
    I just head to the stat oil garage for the jumbo breakfast Roll

    Two eggs two rasher two sausage two Bacon Two puddins one Black one white
    All Stacked like a tower on top of each other and rowelled up good and
    tight
    If you¹re having some tae the milks over there and you¹ll find sugar in dowl bowl
    Says she Do you want some sauce on that says I, I do in my roll

    Well whether you¹re a chippie or a plumber or a brikie or a team just tarring the road.
    Or a shower of lads coming back from the razz in a crowd or on your own
    If you¹re working up a ladder or peeling pigs bladder or find yourself digging in a hole
    There¹s no sight better than melting butter, on a jumbo breakfast roll

    Two eggs two rasher two sausage two Bacon Two puddins one Black and white
    All stacked like a tower on top of each other and Rowled up good and tight
    If you¹re having some tae the milks over there and you¹ll find sugar in dowl bowl
    Says she Do you want some sauce on that says I, I do in my roll

    Well just the other day after me roll and tea, in me gut I got an awful ache
    I went to me Doctor said he that¹s an artery blocker you have every morning for break
    (alrite lads i know theres too many words in that verse but its not fecking bob dillian)
    So to change my lifestyle he has me walking five miles and seeing a dietician called Noel
    But I can¹t get from my head the sight of two runny eggs on my Jumbo breakfast roll

    Two eggs two rasher two sausage two Bacon Two puddins one Black and white
    All stacked like a tower on top of each other and rowled up good and tight
    If you¹re having some tea the milks over there and you¹ll find sugar in dowl bowl
    Says she Do you want some sauce on that says I, I do in my roll

    Well the years have moved on and my life has changed and now I am a different man
    I after loosing three stone, I¹m doing a line with a girl called joan, and we are both Vegetarian
    My blood sugar level is good to go, and my cholesterol is low, but in the morning I¹d sell my soul
    To sit in any stat oil fore court and devour a Jumbo breakfast roll

    Two eggs two rasher two sausage two Bacon Two puddins one Black and white
    All stacked like a tower on top of each other and rowled up good and tight
    If you¹re having some tea the milks over there and you¹ll find sugar in the bowl
    Says she Do you want some sauce on that says I, I do in my HOLE
49. frany June 2, 2006 at 10:05 am

    I found his own site!

    http://www.patshortt.com/JumboBreakfastRoll.htm

    Well I wake up in the morning and I jump straight out of bed
    Grab a hold of that luminous jacket and shake that fuzzy head
    I don¹t have time for a fancy breakfast or put muesli in a bowl
    I just head to the stat oil garage for the jumbo breakfast Roll

    Two eggs two rasher two sausage two Bacon Two puddins one Black and white
    All placed like a tower on top of each other and then wrapped up good and
    tight
    If you¹re having some tea the milks over there and you¹ll find sugar in the bowl
    Says she Do you want some sauce on that says I, I do in my roll

    Well whether you¹re a chippie or a sparkie or a brikie or a team just tarring the road.
    Or a shower of lads coming home from the razz with a crowd or on your own
    If you¹re working up a ladder or peeling pigs bladder or find yourself digging in a hole
    There¹s no sight better than melting butter, from a jumbo breakfast roll

    Two eggs two rasher two sausage two Bacon Two puddins one Black and white
    All placed like a tower on top of each other and then wrapped up good and tight
    If you¹re having some tea the milks over there and you¹ll find sugar in the bowl
    Says she Do you want some sauce on that says I, I do in my roll

    Well just the other day after me roll and tea, in me gut I got an awful ache
    I went to me Doctor he said that¹s an artery blocker you have every morning at break
    So to change my lifestyle he has me walking five miles and seeing a dietician called Noel
    But I can¹t get from my head the sight of two runny eggs on my Jumbo breakfast roll

    Two eggs two rasher two sausage two Bacon Two puddins one Black and white
    All placed like a tower on top of each other and then wraped up good and tight
    If you¹re having some tea the milks over there and you¹ll find sugar in the bowl
    Says she Do you want some sauce on that says I, I do in my roll

    Well the years have passed on and my life has changed and now I am a different man
    I have lost three stone, I¹m doing a line with a girl and we are both Vegetarian
    My cholesterol is low and my heart is good to go, but in the morning I¹d sell my soul
    To sit in any stat oil fore court and devour a Jumbo breakfast roll

    Two eggs two rasher two sausage two Bacon Two puddins one Black and white
    All placed like a tower on top of each other and then wraped up good and tight
    If you¹re having some tea the milks over there and you¹ll find sugar in the bowl
    Says she Do you want some sauce on that says I, I do in my roll
50. frany June 2, 2006 at 10:10 am

    http://www.patshortt.com/JumboBreakfastRoll.htm

    In his own words!!!
51. Andy Buttimer June 6, 2006 at 4:26 pm

    Could someone email the guitar chords, I can’t get it at all, Thanks.
52. Andy Buttimer June 9, 2006 at 7:37 pm

    Looking for the guitar chords for this song, can anyone help.
53. Dan July 5, 2006 at 10:48 am

    Yeah..the chords for this song would be class.anyone have them
54. Ken McGuire July 5, 2006 at 10:53 am

    There’s a version of the guitar chords further up in the comments…
55. Dan July 5, 2006 at 10:54 am

    alri..i see them now.deadly.nice one.slán
56. Maguire September 19, 2006 at 11:45 pm

    There I was havin’ a good hard shit for myself
    After the parsnips,peas,cauliflower the lump o leek and de brussels sprout
    All inside in me,dyin’ ta get out it was and shur what could i do i had to go
    And i’m readin de oul sunday paper,as you do you never know what you might see like and I turn the page and theres this big fuckoff ad for Eminem live in the point depot, and who comes in de door only my little brother Matthew(matcho)
    Runs in the the door sees the ad runs downstairs to mammy “Eh mammy mammy Eminems comin to de point depot,mammy mammy Eminem live at the point depot can i go mammy can i please please mammy can i go?” Bastard!
    Mammy tells me to go an get tickets I go and get tickets, I’m standin’ outside HMV for 17 an a half fuckin’ hours,with nothin but a flask of turnip soup I had last sundaay and a fuckin’ sleepin bag.Frozen to my balls I was and muppets all round me screamin’ an roarin’ an shoutin’ ‘cleanin out dere closet,cleanin out dere closet’ langers on a half a bottle of fuckin’ smirnoff ice, but shur what can you do wit em?, dere muppets de whole lot of em’
    Nonetheless dey move,I move, we all move, I finally get up to de counter
    “Eh 2 tickets for Eminem” “Thats 50 euro per ticket and 4.50 bookin’ fee”
    “Whats de bookin fee for I booked nothin standin here for 17 1/2 fuckin hours, no credit card, no nothin. Fuckin MCD robbin bastards,robbin’ bastards de whole lot of em but I’ll tell you 1 thing, ye met yer match lads Ha!

    Bus Eireann,deres another shower o right muppets altogether 20 euro a piece for myself an matcho 8 1/2 hours and I standin de whole fuckin way from Limerick to Dublin! When does it ever take 8 1/2 hours to go from Limerick to Dub..I’d fuckin’ swim to New York quicker! And It a broken down heap o shit an all it was and blated punctures and bumps,every bump was like a fuckin crater of a moon it was,
    Nonetheless we finally get there had to q outside de point depot for another 2 1/2 hours, half way thru the q some muppet feels my balls “Have you got a camera?” sez he. Have I got a camera,I can’t stand the sight of the peroxide fuckers head an he’s askin me have I a camera?! I can’t take a shit,make a hang sangwich an de fuckers lookin’ back at me. I’m only up here for matcho you know!!
    Jesus I get in I hadda q for a burger (Matcho wanted a burger) I hadda q for a pint,I hadda q for a piss! Everything,you can’t even make a phone call and some muppets on the line “Eh your call is important to us,please stay on the li….Fuck you ya bastard! Fuckin Eircom robbin bastards! Robbin bastards de whole lot of em,robbin de country blind, fuckin’ government don’t have a clue whats goin’ on in this country!
    Nonetheless we’re pushin an we’re squeezin an shovin tryin to make it up to de front for Matcho (Hes only small hes only up to my arse,hes only six, like..and of course I’m fartin de whole way up coz I couldn’t go to the toilet coz I couldn’t get inta de Q!! And his mouth was open an all and he’s dere “Ah Stan are we near the front yit Stan, Eh stan Are we near the front I can’t breathe stan eh.. “We’re nearly dere now hold onto yourself boy!
    We finally get there Hes all excited hes on my shoulders,I’m all excited coz hes all excited We came all dis way for u,just for u…..and you send out some black fella…..a big fat black fella an the back of his trousers down his arse. And him roarin into the microphone ‘Whos ur nigger,whos ur nigger ur niggers in da house, J-Zs on the block..” Well I’ll tell u 1 ting JZ Suck my fuckin’ cock!!! We didn’t come all this way to see u or no one like u! Jez who are you? Nobody gives a shit about or no one else! We came here to see 1 man 1 man only, do me a favor will u?
    GET OFF DA FUCKIN STAGE!!!!!!!
    Out you finally saunter with your vest wrapped round you good an tight,an oul hangy baggy pants on you and nonetheless an oul pair o nike runners on you
    an you screamin into the microphone! how u were fucked in the arse when you were 5, Thats not my fuckin problem you know! We’ve all got issues we’ve all got problems,I’ve a wife that hates me,Ive a child that I love but shur what can we do about em? We don’t go rantin an ravin to the public about how fuckin brilliant we are, how our lives are all fucked up an I want to put my wife in a bodybag an drive her over the edge of a cliff. Well I’ll put you in my bodybag ya bastard! I’ll drive you over the edge of a bridge or a cliff or a mountain or somethin! Don’t go rantin an ravin with ur la de da de da bout your hoosit an wtsit in the world!! I have issues here in the world and I’ll tell u 1 ting!If I’m goin down I’m takin’ you with me coz ur nothin but an ape! And I’ll tell u somethin else,I’ll rip ur liver out thru yer arse! BASTARD!!!!
57. trbeqygzwt June 21, 2007 at 10:25 am

    Hello! Good Site! Thanks you! fjpekhyhtnhmn
58. Conrado November 20, 2007 at 8:12 pm

    The chords are C f G c
59. claire November 23, 2009 at 4:22 pm

    i love that song best every!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!